


Hatsicle or Dicksicle?

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged up characters, Bill's hat is his dick, Hat Dick, I have never written a blowjob or a handjob before, M/M, triangle bill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 21:17:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10907640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bill hates it when Pine Tree ignores him, he hates it even more when the human teases him while ignoring him. Since the mortal likes sucking on that popsicle so much, why not give him something better to suck on?





	Hatsicle or Dicksicle?

**Author's Note:**

> I was dared to write this in the Billdip Discord server. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy some good hat sucking.

Hatsicle or Dicksicle?  
Billdip OneShot

Slurp. 

...

Slurp.

...

Slurp.

Bill was irritated. First his Pine Tree decides to ignore him for the day in favor of some weird frozen treat, and now he has the audacity to start licking it in such a way that riled the triangle up. 

When the teen closed his eyes and practically moaned, Bill knew what he had to do. Snapping his small fingers, Bill's eye smiled as time froze all around him. Oh all the chaos he has caused with these abilities that the Pines have yet to uncover.

Floating over to his target, Bill eyed the frozen treat with curiosity. Eye shifting into a mouth, he gave it an experimental lick. "Huh, reminds me of a margarita. I'll take that," he commented, swiping the popsicle from the teen's hand.

"Now, what to replace it with," he said, looking around before bringing a hand up to his hat. He felt his body heat up before his eye shifted into a smirk. "Double humiliation for Pine Tree, and double pleasure for me. I say that's an excellent idea," Bill said, floating down under Dipper's empty hand.

Shrinking his hat down to, he moved it into position before letting it grow again. The triangle almost moaned at the feeling of not only a hand wrapped around his hat, but the feeling of a tongue pressed against it. Shuddering, Bill quickly finished off the popsicle before snapping his fingers, allowing for time to resume.

Feeling that wet muscle start to move against his hat, and the hand grip it a little tighter, Bill nearly moaned with pure pleasure. Who knew how amazing this would actually feel? Bill realized he may have to do this a little more often.

Cracking his eye open at the sudden change in texture, Dipper was surprised to find instead of a popsicle, Bill's hat was in his hand. He thought about stopping, chucking the hat and triangle as far away from him as possible. And yet, licking the hat was honestly kind of pleasant, in a weird way.

He expected the texture to be very rough, the temperature not even mattering as what the texture should have been would have hurt, possibly even burning, his tongue. However, instead the hat was very smooth and warm, almost pulsing. It felt just like Bill's small limbs.

When he got a look at the actual triangle, Dipper was nor expecting his normally yellow hue to be tinted with some red, turning him into a more orange-ish color. It was almost like he was blushing.

Curious, Dipper moved his mouth so it was now covering the very tip of the hat. He even felt some sort of tiny slit there. Bringing his other hand up, he began massaging the base of the hat. He finally put two and two together when Bill let out a loud moan of pure pleasure, one that even got Dipper feeling half-hard.

Bill was not expecting the teen to start grabbing at his hat, and when he felt that tongue go over the slit-- he almost came right then and there. Closing his eye, Bill felt it become even more difficult to keep himself afloat, but he was able to manage, not like Pine Tree was being of any help.

"Fuck, Pine Tree," he gasped out when the teen tightened his grip on the hat and pulled his mouth off with a pop. 

Shifting so he was now laying on the fallen tree he was sitting on, Dipper turned Bill around so they were facing each other. The human was amused at the sight of the triangle's pupil blown wide, almost sparkling from the pure pleasure he was experiencing. 

"Who knew teasing you with that popsicle would lead to this?" The teen asked, his grin cheeky. 

Narrowing his eye at the mortal, Bill resisted the urge to strangle him because holy shit, no way is Pine Tree ale to fucking trick him like that. He would expect it from someone like Stanley, but Pine Tree? Bill figured Dipper would be more like Ford, a nerd with no romantic or sexual experience by human standards.

It was honestly pretty impressive.

"Want me to finish you off?" Dipper asked, gently rubbing one his thumbs over the surface of the hat, moving the hand to the top to feel the slit. He noticed a small but of a creamy gold substance was beginning to gather up there, signifying that the triangle was coming close.

Curious, Dipper brought his thumb down and gave an experimental lick. It honestly resembled what he imagined human cum to taste and feel like, a creamy liquid that was very salty. However, he noticed some other flavor on there. Almost like a piece of sour candy, like Sour Gummy Koalas or even Sour Snakes. He definitely did not mind the taste.

Shuddering, Bill watched the human lick the golden liquid that came from his hat. He simultaneously loved it all; the feeling of Dipper's hands on his hat, Dipper's mouth all over his hat, and even the way Dipper licked the gold liquid. However, Bill also hated how it made him undone, almost completely out of control. It was humiliating to him.

"Please," he whimpered out, something neither party expected. Bill could not believe that he was literally begging a human, then again he did beg a human once before. Pushing that humiliating time aside, the triangle focused on the present and on the way Pine Tree flashed that cheeky grin once again. It was pretty cute, he would be lying if he said it wasn't.

With permission granted, Dipper proceeded to continuously rub his hands up and down the length of Bill's hat. He felt it begin to heat up and was amused at the sounds the triangle, watching as Bill shifted from having that orange tint to a full on red. Taking the circumstances into account, Dipper knew the color wasn't one of rage.

Pulling the hat into his mouth, the teen hummed in contentment at the taste. He noted that the hat held that weird salty-sour flavor as opposed to the strange no-flavor from before. Closing his eyes, Dipper ran his tongue over the slit a few times before running his teeth down the length of the hat. Moving his mouth as far down as he could, only making it down to between a quarter and half the way. He didn't expect for the hat to be so big.

Moaning when the human began to suck, Bill closed his eye out of sheer ecstasy. Even though heaven was just something created by mortals, Bill knew that if it existed then that's where he was in this very moment. Opening his eye again, the triangle noticed a tent beginning to form in Dipper's pants.

Figuring he might as well return the favor, Bill stretched his arms down to Dipper's pants and opened them. As soon as he lowered the pants and undergarments, Dipper's cock sprang free and Bill could feel the sigh of relief Dipper let out on his hat.

Wrapping his hands around the dick, Bill took note at how it may only take a few strokes before the mortal would climax. Then again, Bill himself was also ready and probably moments away from his own climax. Perhaps if he timed this right...

Tightening his grip, Bill began to question himself as to why he was even considering allowing for the human to get a release. He was supposed to be punishing hm for ignoring him in favor of a damn popsicle! 

Bill's train of thought was cut off when Dipper suddenly sucked harshly and bit down on the hat, causing the demon to let out his loudest moan yet. Damn that felt amazing. Figuring the human probably earned it for now, Bill began to moving his hands up and down Dipper's cock.

Biting the hat and sucking it harshly was involuntary, Dipper couldn't help it as the grip around his cock tightened so suddenly. The eager moan Bill let out was encouraging to him, causing the teen to remember how the demon found pain to be hilarious. Figuring that it must be pleasurable for the demon, Dipper decided to add teeth as he sucked the hat harshly.

Personally the human was grateful for the hat in his mouth, as without it he knew his own moans would probably ring out across the forest. He was surprised that no one has come to the clearing due to the noise the demon was making. It was like Bill held no shame at all.

Feeling the hands around his cock move faster, some fingers even fondling and pinching his balls, Dipper must have realized Bill was getting close. The human also knew he was close, having been ready for a short amount of time now. He considered removing his mouth and hands from the hat, leave Bill hanging as a form of revenge. However, he felt himself steadily approaching climax and realized it would be really shitty to leave the demon needing release, especially since said demon seemed to be geared towards letting the human cum.

Determined in his decision, Dipper pressed his tongue flat against the hat. He slightly dug his teeth in it and sucked harshly, even letting his nails dig in as he gripped it tightly. He suddenly saw white as he felt Bill's cum fill his mouth, his own climax probably covering Bill's black limbs and maybe even on the triangle himself.

When Dipper dug his teeth and nails into his hat, pressing his tongue flat and sucking even more harshly, Bill felt himself howl with pure pleasure. His pupil practically overtook his eye as he came straight into Dipper's mouth. He also felt the white hot seed of the mortal on his hands, signifying that the human found release at the same time.

Pulling his hands away, Bill shuddered as he felt that damn tongue lick his hat again. He wondered if the taste of him was enjoyable to the human before eyeing the white substance on his own hands. Bringing them up to his eye, he allowed for it to morph into a mouth as he licked it curiously. 

Shuddering at the bitter taste, Bill could not decide if he liked it or not. Perhaps it would be better in a margarita or even on that infernal popsicle the human was eating earlier? Shrugging, the demon summoned some wipes and began to clean up the human. Might as well return the favor, since the teen was eagerly cleaning him up.

When Dipper pulled off from the hat with a pop, Bill looked up at him again. The two shared eye contact, and it was almost like they were reading each others minds. "Well kid, I wasn't expecting you to be that good," Bill admitted.

Rolling his eyes, Dipper pulled his pants back on before wrapping his arms around Bill. "It was almost like a popsicle, maybe I should tease you more often?" He suggested, laughing at the pout he received in response. "I take it that's a fuck no then?"

Rolling his eye, Bill nestled himself against Dipper's chest. "If you tease me again then my hat is going up your ass," Bill grumbled, closing his eye.

"I actually wouldn't mind that, I would like to study your hat further," Dipper said, shifting to get in a more comfortable position as he closed his own eyes.

"Of course you would," Bill chuckled, allowing for his body's heat to slowly lull the human to sleep. "Sweet nightmares Pine Tree," he whispered.

"Just," Dipper yawned, barely able to stay awake, before continuing, "don't steal my popsicle again."

**Author's Note:**

> Comment/Kudos if you enjoy this.
> 
> I also accept constructive criticism.


End file.
